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How To Stop Working On Yourself And Find Yourself Instead

How To Stop Working On Yourself And Find Yourself Instead

One of the most repeated pieces of advice I give to people is, “You’re not broken.” I say this so many times. And I believe that it’s true.

It’s sort of the opposite to therapy. In that case you look at the damage caused from your past and relive it or express it to relieve the pressure of suppression of emotions.

I believe we all come into this world perfectly formed in our own way. We don’t need to add anything or change anything. All we have to do is allow ourselves to grow and develop and realise our potential.

To become your possibility. To find yourself.

This is a great relief and comfort to people. You are not broken. I’m not even giving you the burden of “you are a genius”. It’s light and no pressure.

Think about it. You are not broken. No need for therapy, you are not broken. No need for guilt, you are not broken. No need for shame, you are not broken.

Well today I caught myself lost in my self-improvement drive – again. And I wondered why I don’t take this advice.

Seriously!

How many affirmations and clearing techniques do I need?

Why do I get stuck in the working on myself loop?

If I’m not broken, then why do I need to constantly fix things?

Do you find the same thing? Must become more productive, more effective, more loving.

It’s part of our self-actualisation you might say, but are we jamming our bandwidth with too many improve yourself to-dos?

Perhaps we need to create more space to just be. When you create space you get to experience your own insight and intuition. What Philip McKernan calls “your Soulset.”

When you create space you can find your inner voice that guides.

So today I started not working on myself.

I started not affirming that I was earning six figures. I stopped affirming that I had perfect health. I stopped trying to clear blockages and shift energy.

Today I started being who I am. Not broken. And no need to work on myself.

I took a day off from self-help.

Today I started to feel comfortable with my work. Not needing to push on and change things. I found myself being okay with my kids behaviour because they’re not broken either. We just need to be with each other.

Today I was being me.

Today I was unbroken.

Today, try being you. Find yourself. Perfect.

A Rhythmic Primer

A Rhythmic Primer

 

When we organise sounds with silence we have the beginnings of rhythm.

The nature of the spaces between the sounds will determine a regular rhythm or something we would describe as arrhythmic. Something that we describe as rhythmic would have a certain degree of predictability about it, it wouldn’t feel unexpected as it unfolded.

Sounds played with a recognisable periodicity create a cycle that feels balanced and a movement that engages us into a groove. Rhythm played in this way is infectious and satisfying.

Our connection to rhythm comes from our physiology. We move and function through a series of balanced actions that flow and cycle in regular rhythms. From our heartbeat and our breathing to the way we walk and move. Our arms and legs swing with balanced motion and we can create changes in pace through rhythmic shifts.

When we are healthy and well we are harmonically rhythmic beings.

Just imagine how unpredictable our existence would be if our organs and muscles worked in an uncoordinated almost random fashion as they functioned. Life would be a struggle to say the least.

The world around us is a rhythmic symphony. On a subatomic level everything vibrates at its own rate. This vibration is rhythm and the universe vibrates in rhythmic harmony.

On a wider level the tides, moons, seasons, and sunsets follows a balanced set of cycles. We may have labelled them with our own classes of measurement but by their nature they follow broad rhythmic patterns. The universe is polyrhythmic.

The rhythms around us and within us affect us in three important ways:

Physiologically – As the rhythms within your body change you experience the physiological effects of that change. An increase in heart rhythm will trigger a series of corresponding change to breathing rate and other organic cycles as they change with it.

Psychologically – The brain generates its own rhythmic patterns of activity as brain waves. Typically grouped into four classes: Beta, Alpha, Theta and Delta they correspond to different levels of brain activity from high to low. By immersing yourself in a particular rhythmic stimulus it is possible to change your brain state as the wave cycles shift to match the stimulus. This is how many relaxation audio programmes work.

Behaviourally – From the rhythmic lulling of a baby to the aggressive drums of war rhythm can cause us to alter our behaviour patterns. Equally powerful are the trance rhythms of the shaman which can shift our state of consciousness and awareness.

We can explain the power of rhythm through a phenomenon known as entrainment. If you take some time to observe couples walking through a park or city centre you will see its effect.  As people walk side by side you will notice that their steps fall into a synchronous rhythm.

It’s difficult to walk next to someone and pace with a different rhythmic cycle.

Entrainment happens when two rhythmic events are close to each other, there is a coming together and a matching of rhythms or vibrations. It is the nature of harmonic rhythm and explains how easy it is to get absorbed by rhythms and grooves. As an audience we can feel the pull of the time and entrain to it.

By creating specific rhythms to lower brain waves and physical rhythmic rates we can use rhythmic entrainment as a therapeutic tool to entrain a more relaxed state into the mind and body of the listening audience.

We can use rhythm to create harmony and to create relaxed and effective states of being in ourselves, in others and in the world.

How to Find Your Theme

How to Find Your Theme

I’m a masher and my work is a mash-up.

There are so many strands to include, sometimes I don’t even know what I do. In fact, there are definitely people at my work who don’t really get what I do.

So I try to work with the key themes that I find cropping up often.

You might be the same and want to ask yourself: ‘What are your themes?’

If you are anything like me then your multi-stranded themes can give you the edge in the workplace and in your business. Instead of a grey-scale worker, you are a kaleidoscope. Instead of pursuing a single discipline you’re a masher.

Here are some of the things that I’ve worked at:

Drummer, Recording Artist, Jazz Improvisor, Coach, Mentor, Education Consultant, Performer, Studio Owner, Producer, Blogger, Composer, Author, Publisher, Web Designer, Writer, Teacher Trainer, Educator, Workshop Leader, Group Facilitator

Now, whenever I’m in new networking situations, I’ve started revealing more and more about the range of things that I can do.

I used to move from one group to the next adjusting the persona that I projected out and trying to fit in by editing my history and accommodating who was around me.

It’s tricky to do, especially when each person asks you: ‘So what do you do?’

But there is a way of finding a number of themes that incorporate all of your skills and passions and allows others to connect with you.

It’s actually okay if no-one actually understands what you do.

I want to celebrate that I did web design for an international charity and worked as a band technician on the Jools Holland Show. The skills that I offer allowed me to spend six weeks writing songs at a local hospice and to also write and publish several books.

The days of the single job title and linear career path are over and the future belongs instead to those with a sense of their own themes.

My themes now are improvisation, play and creativity and how we can use them in our personal and work lives to find greater freedom, happiness and energy.